Both Sides
Living life as a stay at home mom is no easy task. Living life as a working mom is no easy task. Living life in both lanes is chaotic for sure but comes with some built in perspective on motherhood. Let me say this upfront, no matter where you lie on this spectrum, motherhood is downright tough. You hear about so many moms coming out and saying this on social media lately and why is that? Because it is true, because we don't want to feel alone in this hard but rewarding journey, because our generation has found their supportive voice. And let me also say that no matter what "side of the fence" you are on, the grass is not greener on the other side, it is just grass- it's motherhood. It's wonderful and it's hard, and it's emotional, and it's inspiring...no matter how you journey through it. No one has it easier or harder, we are all going through cycles of easy and hard and everything in between, we are just experiencing it at different times. That's why I decided to share from my heart, to show mothers of all walks of life that you are not alone and that there are others who see and feel those tough days and those joyous days, even when you feel that no one else does. Motherhood is a community like no other, and we are all in it together.
To the stay at home mom, I see you try to close your eyes and take a deep breath but lose your cool before you get a chance to, raising your voice out of frustration. I see your immediate sense of guilt as your children flinch their eyes. I see you running around at breakneck pace trying to cook, clean, spend quality time with your kids, juggle nap schedules, play date schedules and laundry. I see your surge of excitement as your child does something for the first time that you taught them. I see you trying to fight back tears of frustration as your children fail to listen to you for what seems like the 80th time today. I see your head spinning as "mom" "mom" "moommmm" "mommy" seems to echo from every corner of the house and your mind. I see you so desperately trying to cherish the moment, good or bad, because you realize it won't be like this for long. I see your face full of anxiety and embarrassment as your child acts out in public and your begging, imploring and bribing fall upon closed ears. I see you daydreaming, wishing for a moment of peace and a hot cup of coffee. I see you at your wits end near bedtime, hoping that your kids will be good tonight and fall asleep quickly. I see you kiss their head and tell them goodnight. I see you instantly begin to miss them the moment you close the door. I see you and I feel you because this is me as well. The queen of chaos, the mastermind of schedules, the harbor of both frustration and pride. You are not alone.
To the working mom, I see you fight the urge to throw that alarm against the wall because all you want is just a few more minutes of peaceful sleep. But I see you get up and get dressed because there is breakfast to be made, children to get dressed, and a dinner to plan out- all before 7 AM. I see you with a wince in your eyes and a slight pang of guilt as you drop your young ones off at daycare for a long day without you. I see you driving into work listening to your choice of music and feeling like your old self, even if for just a moment. I see you working through your day, managing tasks and duties thrown your way and solving problems along the way- because that's what moms do. I see you staring off into space wondering what your kids are up to at that moment. I see your smile as the work day is over and you race out of the door, excited to see your little ones. I see your excitement fade just a little as the whining and bickering ensue from hungry and tired children. I see you becoming increasingly exhausted as you go through the motions of cooking, cleaning, eating, and getting the kids ready for bed. I see you feeling guilty that there are not enough hours in the evening to spend quality time with the kids in the ways that you want to. I see you feel a little disheartened that you will wake up and do this all again tomorrow. I see you wondering "when does this Groundhog Day ever end?" And then I see you remember that the weekend is only a few days away and you smile in relief. I see you dreaming of all the fun weekend plans that you and your family will have. I see you fall asleep promising yourself to be more present in the moment tomorrow.
And one day, our kids will see it and feel it too. Maybe one day when they are off at college and can't sleep and suddenly begin realizing that they miss you and all that you do for them. Or maybe it will be one day when they have kids of their own and they think- wow, how did my mom manage this? However it happens, one day your motherhood journey will be noticed and appreciated by those young lives that you are shaping on a daily basis. But until then, I see you, I feel you, and you are doing one heck of a job.
